


if you wanna take me, go ahead and try my head

by unsaved_misc



Category: Video Blogging RPF, supermega
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Fluff, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Mentions of Smut, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:35:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25416256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unsaved_misc/pseuds/unsaved_misc
Summary: matt thinks about harrison and about his feelings
Relationships: Harrison Tucker/Matt Watson
Kudos: 9





	if you wanna take me, go ahead and try my head

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaa i wrote this in a rlly short amount of time but i enjoyed it!! i listened to if you want to by beabadoobee n it gave me inspo for this song, i recommend listening to it while u read :))

he wants to ask harry to stay.

‘cause if you want   
u could stay with me in my bed

harry isn’t looking at him, but he’s staring at the ceiling, half-lidded eyes drowsy. matt knows he didn’t get any sleep last night because they were together, watching indie movies harry had picked out and giggling over a bowl of popcorn. a patterned quilt over them, loose threads matt picks at when he loses concentration. harry lit a scented candle, one that matt picked out for him when they were thrifting the other day. the flame flickers as matt feels himself nodding off, but harry prods him awake, smiling at him. matt’s chest feels tight.   
they managed to stay awake all night, something matt wasn’t usually good at. the boy needed at least 9 hours to even be coherent, but he somehow kept his burning eyes open. he knew the reason, but he didn’t want to admit it outright; he was awake because he didn’t want to be away from harry under the guise of slumber. he wanted to be close to him, try and match their breathing as they lay side by side over top of the bedsheets. warmth radiates off of harry’s arm, even though his fingers are always cold. matt always feels a shock when harry grabs his arm to capture his attention, or rubs his shoulder while they’re listening to jackson talk. can’t harry see that all those touches are doing something to him?

if you want to  
only if you want to

the only sound that can be heard is the whirring ceiling fan above them, and the sounds of cars outside. it’s 5 am, and dawn is about to break, and matt can’t tear his eyes away from harry. he studies the curved bridge of his nose, his dark lashes, his unkept brunette hair. matt offered to help him cut it, but harry refused, saying he wanted to grow it out. matt wanted to run his fingers through it, but he kept his hands to himself. matt was afraid to show any affection towards harry, because he felt like harry would somehow sense the aching desire matt had, like he could look into his eyes and see every single feeling matt had for harry that wasn’t platonic. and matt thought about that stuff a lot, probably more than he should’ve. he just wanted to be with harry. and it wasn’t just because of that weird incident that happened a month ago. 

if you want  
you could go ahead and fix my head

they were drunk. they’d just finished a movie, jackson passed out on the floor against carson, hugging a pillow and letting out soft snores. harry and matt were snuggling on top of each other, quiet, watching the credits trickle down the screen. matt turned to look at harry straight on, and their noses bumped. they giggled. the next part is kind of blurry, but matt remembers the hot, wet feeling of harry’s lips on his own and the warm hand snaking it’s way down his pants. it was quiet except for the sound of their breathing, lips smacking and the ruffling sound of fabric. and like a switch was flicked, harry stopped. he looked at matt, expression blank like it always was. and he said, “i have to go.” matt watched him slide off of him and drunkenly stumble to the bedroom. matt stared up at the popcorn patterned ceiling, the tv illuminating the room, and he wasn’t sure what to think. that moment had been stuck in his head for weeks, plaguing his brain when he tried to sleep, nagging at him whenever harry talked to him. harry never mentioned what happened, so matt didn’t either, and he constantly wondered if harry even knew that the incident happened. he looks back at harry, and harry is staring at him.

if you want to  
only if you want to

their stare doesn’t break. matt looks into harry’s dark brown eyes, how deep and drowsy they are, and he still can’t see anything. it’s always been hard to read harry. even ryan admitted it, and ryan was usually good at picking up on things. matt attempts to find anything, a shred of how harry feels on the inside, and he usually turns up empty. matt feels startlingly cold fingertips against his cheek, and he flinches at the touch. his lips are parted, and his face is an open book.  
“matt.”  
“yeah?” matt responds too fast, eager, wondering what harry is going to say. he pauses for a long time, his eyes flicking across matt’s face, his thumb rubbing the skin of matt’s cheek. matt waits with bated breath, blue eyes wide for someone who hasn’t gotten any sleep. harry stares at him a minute longer before leaning forward, kissing matt gingerly on the lips. matt is slow to react, letting out a content sigh as he closes his eyes and finally kisses back. it isn’t passionate or smutty, just gentle. and as soon as it starts, it ends. harry pulls back, looking at matt with a smile. it’s the first time matt can read his eyes. they’re tranquil.  
“we should get some sleep.” he suggests, but he doesn’t get up. matt buries his face into harry’s arm, cheeks aflame, and he isn’t sure what to think.

if you want to  
only if you want to

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed!!! please leave ur feedback :D


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